I'm going to be honest, I read this about a day or two ago since it had me thinking about so many things. I relate to you on this story on so many levels but not for that same reasons you think lol.
Your experience really spoke to me because I have been dealing with the after math of a relationship that wasn't so nice. To make a long story short, it was basically toxic, it made me doubt myself and my sexuality at such a young age. I always saw that as a shame, because honestly no young teen should ever go through what I've been through especially while in such a toxic environment.
but still, It was...wired, y'know? It's like... living with a truth you thought you could trust with your heart, only for it to be shattered within a day. When you started to talk about how you started to lust for genuine affection as a pose to the common definition of lust, It reminded me of what I used to believe in when I was with my past partner. It was almost like a double edged sword... on one side I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to feel respected, I wanted to feel worth. Yet on the other side, it made me feel sick to think that I was trusting this form of love because of how odd it felt to me. I honestly believe that a part my own innocence died while I was with them.
I do look back on these memories and yes.. It does remind me of some dark times, but oddly enough I don't really bask in an ocean of regret or guilt, I mean, sometimes I do. but only rarely. I actually took it as a learning experience for the world of dating.
A lot of your story really resonates with me, I do have much more to say but that was one snip-it of my own life experiences that I wanted to put down on the table. You're story also made me chuckle, and parts of me even snickered thinking "Really? Wow!" these stories are really fun to read and It's cool to read a sneak peak of your life.
Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to me that you took the time to not only to read what I wrote, but to ponder it for a few days after, before leaving a comment and reflection of your own.
What you described, that strange collision between wanting to be loved and realizing how easily that desire can be twisted or wounded by someone else is so raw and real. I felt a lot of that exact ache in my own story. It's a big part of why I write about moments like this; because the rough parts hold more truth than the sanitized and curated ersions of our lives ever could.
I’m really glad you found something in it that resonated with you. It sucks that you had to go through that toxic experience and deal with all the aftermath. And yeah, so many of us have our wacky, beautiful, painful stories. It's astounding that the art and beauty in our life can find a way to sneak in there in the cracks and crevices.
And I'm happy to hear you chuckled now and again while reading my story. I'm so happy for your feedback that it was fun to read and cool to see a sneak into my life. That's so encouraging!
Thanks again for reading and sharing a bit of yourself here.
I'm going to be honest, I read this about a day or two ago since it had me thinking about so many things. I relate to you on this story on so many levels but not for that same reasons you think lol.
Your experience really spoke to me because I have been dealing with the after math of a relationship that wasn't so nice. To make a long story short, it was basically toxic, it made me doubt myself and my sexuality at such a young age. I always saw that as a shame, because honestly no young teen should ever go through what I've been through especially while in such a toxic environment.
but still, It was...wired, y'know? It's like... living with a truth you thought you could trust with your heart, only for it to be shattered within a day. When you started to talk about how you started to lust for genuine affection as a pose to the common definition of lust, It reminded me of what I used to believe in when I was with my past partner. It was almost like a double edged sword... on one side I wanted to feel loved, I wanted to feel respected, I wanted to feel worth. Yet on the other side, it made me feel sick to think that I was trusting this form of love because of how odd it felt to me. I honestly believe that a part my own innocence died while I was with them.
I do look back on these memories and yes.. It does remind me of some dark times, but oddly enough I don't really bask in an ocean of regret or guilt, I mean, sometimes I do. but only rarely. I actually took it as a learning experience for the world of dating.
A lot of your story really resonates with me, I do have much more to say but that was one snip-it of my own life experiences that I wanted to put down on the table. You're story also made me chuckle, and parts of me even snickered thinking "Really? Wow!" these stories are really fun to read and It's cool to read a sneak peak of your life.
I guess we all have our wacky stories :)
Hey Izzywizzy,
Thank you for sharing. It means a lot to me that you took the time to not only to read what I wrote, but to ponder it for a few days after, before leaving a comment and reflection of your own.
What you described, that strange collision between wanting to be loved and realizing how easily that desire can be twisted or wounded by someone else is so raw and real. I felt a lot of that exact ache in my own story. It's a big part of why I write about moments like this; because the rough parts hold more truth than the sanitized and curated ersions of our lives ever could.
I’m really glad you found something in it that resonated with you. It sucks that you had to go through that toxic experience and deal with all the aftermath. And yeah, so many of us have our wacky, beautiful, painful stories. It's astounding that the art and beauty in our life can find a way to sneak in there in the cracks and crevices.
And I'm happy to hear you chuckled now and again while reading my story. I'm so happy for your feedback that it was fun to read and cool to see a sneak into my life. That's so encouraging!
Thanks again for reading and sharing a bit of yourself here.
~ Joey